Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Revenge
act 1) Recently my gas was shut off because of non payment. Things have been tough financially lately, largely on account of paying $1,050.00 a month to live in a small studio deep in Korea Town. Forutnately, that is my only utility as the building I live in covers my electricity.
fact 2) Up untill a week ago, the management company I rent from decided it was perfectly acceptable to subject me to remodeling and reconstruction noises in the apartment adjacent to me. I did not find these noises pleasing. I asked if they would move me and my dog into a different unit while the remodeling took place or knock down my rent as compinsation for putting up with such a distraction and they declined.
bringing the two together) Having my gas turned off meant I could no longer cook at home. I would have to pay $70 for the bill and reconnection fee. An electric grill from Target costs $50 and since it runs on electricity would be used at the expense of my landlord.
the result) Revenge is a dish best served grilled on both sides.
fact 2) Up untill a week ago, the management company I rent from decided it was perfectly acceptable to subject me to remodeling and reconstruction noises in the apartment adjacent to me. I did not find these noises pleasing. I asked if they would move me and my dog into a different unit while the remodeling took place or knock down my rent as compinsation for putting up with such a distraction and they declined.
bringing the two together) Having my gas turned off meant I could no longer cook at home. I would have to pay $70 for the bill and reconnection fee. An electric grill from Target costs $50 and since it runs on electricity would be used at the expense of my landlord.
the result) Revenge is a dish best served grilled on both sides.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Amber's Dry Cleaning Service
Ambers' Dry Cleaning Service.
"Leaves Your Clothes Warm, Hairy and Wrinkly!"
New word. I'll take credit for it.
1.re·dumb·dant
[ri-duhmb-duhnt]
–adjective
The use of an analogy from one sport to describe achievement in another.
example: "Hey, Jim. Did you see that pass? It was a total homerun!"
2.re·dumb·dant
[ri-duhmb-duhnt]
–noun
A type of person that uses the verb form of this word.
example:
"Leaves Your Clothes Warm, Hairy and Wrinkly!"
New word. I'll take credit for it.
1.re·dumb·dant
[ri-duhmb-duhnt]
–adjective
The use of an analogy from one sport to describe achievement in another.
example: "Hey, Jim. Did you see that pass? It was a total homerun!"
2.re·dumb·dant
[ri-duhmb-duhnt]
–noun
A type of person that uses the verb form of this word.
example:
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Shaving With an Electric Razor
I suppose this blog only applies to those that have shaved with an electric razor or would like to know what it feels like to shave with an electric razor...
I suppose then, as well, this only applies to those that have seen the movie Rush.
I suppose that you know what it is like to stare at that which you intend to inflict serious bodily damage with and then plunge into that sadistic abyss. I suppose you know, you, what it's like to put your genitals through a linguine cutter. I suppose you know it all. I suppose you have gone into Sears and shelled out 147.49 dollars on a machine that will not only cut through your flesh like an oxy-acedeline torch through marmalade, but sear what ever is left of it into chunks of orange peel apocalypse... FOR THE SAKE OF THE ALMIGHTY, DON'T PURCHASE AN ELECTRIC RAZOR. I am at peace.
-J
I suppose then, as well, this only applies to those that have seen the movie Rush.
I suppose that you know what it is like to stare at that which you intend to inflict serious bodily damage with and then plunge into that sadistic abyss. I suppose you know, you, what it's like to put your genitals through a linguine cutter. I suppose you know it all. I suppose you have gone into Sears and shelled out 147.49 dollars on a machine that will not only cut through your flesh like an oxy-acedeline torch through marmalade, but sear what ever is left of it into chunks of orange peel apocalypse... FOR THE SAKE OF THE ALMIGHTY, DON'T PURCHASE AN ELECTRIC RAZOR. I am at peace.
-J
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
