Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Shaving With an Electric Razor

I suppose this blog only applies to those that have shaved with an electric razor or would like to know what it feels like to shave with an electric razor...
I suppose then, as well, this only applies to those that have seen the movie Rush.
I suppose that you know what it is like to stare at that which you intend to inflict serious bodily damage with and then plunge into that sadistic abyss. I suppose you know, you, what it's like to put your genitals through a linguine cutter. I suppose you know it all. I suppose you have gone into Sears and shelled out 147.49 dollars on a machine that will not only cut through your flesh like an oxy-acedeline torch through marmalade, but sear what ever is left of it into chunks of orange peel apocalypse... FOR THE SAKE OF THE ALMIGHTY, DON'T PURCHASE AN ELECTRIC RAZOR. I am at peace.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A little word about weed....

Joints are life...

Bongs are wet dreams...


A Wine Epiphany

Getting drunk is just grapes sharing their happiness with me.

People I Hate The Most In My Life

1. Greg
2. Mark
3. Ollie
4. Sarah
5. Aaron
6. Josh
7. You


She asked me... "does this fur make me look fat?"
I responded... "yes"
I no longer have a dog.

Do I Rule the World Yet?

I came up with a fancy enough blog name, that's for sure. I was so impressed with myself. Elephantiasisoftheblog. Genius. Sheer, un-adultered genius. And that's where it ends. Now I am writing nonsense. Well, I guess it does make sense. Unless I write like this-

jolly hitch fake the pony.

That would be nonesense.

**************AND NOW THE TOP 10 REASONS I DON'T BLOG VERY OFTEN!**************

10. I thought a diatribe was an Indigenous African Dieter!
9. As much as I talk about myself, I don't find I'm that interesting!
2. I'm lazy!
1. I thought blogging was another form of masturbation! (in which case I am an avid blogger)

I always except donations.
P.O Box 1
Washington D.C. 00001

Thank you and good night!